Widowspeak

According to Wikipedia a Widow's Peak is a descending V-shaped point in the middle of the hairline (above the forehead). It is an example of a dominant inherited trait. The term comes from English Folklore, where it is believed that this hair formation was a sign of a woman who would outlive her husband.

This Widow Speak has nothing to do with hairlines and everything to do with women who outlive their husbands. I'm one. Many of my friends are. It's not the most popular club to belong to. We often get a bad rap.

I think some of my couple friends are afraid my state of being will rub off on them. The knowledge of mortality is fearsome - if it happened to me, it could happen to them. And, single men, who might otherwise be eligible bachelors, are leery they'll have to compete with a deceased saint should they dare to tread in WIDOW territory. See what I mean... bad rap. It makes for a no man's land - in this case, no Woman's land.

Maybe this blog site can become a place of expression for us beleaguered widows. A sisterhood of survivors. A place to share our stories, emotional mountains (Peaks, if you will ) and valleys, memories and plans for the future. We've shared a traumatic, and ofttimes dramatic, experience; have gone through, or, are still wading through the Seven Stages of Grief. We're kinfolk to loss and loneliness. We've known anger to the point of rage. We understand depression, live with guilt, and worry about additive behavior. And we are oh so good at pretending "all is well".

I have now outlived my husband by nine years. Maybe only seven. The first two years after his death, I didn't live, only existed. Everything I did was in a fog, surreal, slow motion. I couldn't remember appointments, didn't return phone calls, avoided my friends and couldn't see anything beyond the elephant in the room. Sound familiar?

Sandy